Success in life is not a fantasy; it is a formula.
FINDING A MENTOR IN TRADING AND LIFE – Find a person with the formula who is experiencing success in the field you wish to pursue, let him mentor you, and you will find your success! A mentor is a person you look up to and respect, a person you want to be like, a person who is an expert in the area you want to sharpen your skills at in your life. If you want to be a better father, go find one whom you admire and who makes you think, “Boy, I would like to be a father to my children just like that!” Then do three things:
- Get to know him.
- Study him.
- Do exactly what he does.
You would do the same thing if you want to be a good spouse, a good friend, or a good trader. There are more than six billion people on this planet. Just about every person in the world is getting up every day trying to figure out a recipe or formula for their success. Each person is trying to win his or her race, trying to become a winner or champion in his or her own right. The sad part is the majority of the world never really find their niche in life and therefore never reach their highest potential.
Why Find a Mentor?- FINDING A MENTOR IN TRADING AND LIFE
Only 3 percent of Americans become financially independent by retirement age; 97 percent retire broke.1 The reality is, for many of us when we left home, Mom and Dad pretty much patted us on the back and said good luck and God bless. They did not hand us a manual for success containing all the instructions or details to live a happy, productive, and financially successful life. No doubt all our parents and caregivers did the best they could, but as the saying goes, sometimes our best isn’t good enough. So to succeed, especially financially, we either have to go figure out the formula ourselves (which can be costly and time-consuming), attend college in hopes that we acquire it (though there are many educated derelicts out there) or find a mentor who is willing to help us. Something magical takes place when you ask someone for help.
For some reason, regardless of the situation, human beings just love to help. When you ask people for help, they feel compelled or obligated, or just become willing to help. Either way, when you dare to ask for help from a mentor, you have a high percentage chance of receiving guidance. Now you might be saying to yourself, “Why would a mentor be willing to help me? After all, I might end up becoming the competition.” Frankly, if the mentor is worried about that, you need to go find another mentor. After all, truly successful people do not fear competition. Trust me, you will achieve the success that much faster if you can find a mentor and pay attention to his or her lessons.
Greatness Lies Not in Trying to Be Somebody but Rather in Trying to Help Somebody
Financially successful people have arrived at a place and time in their lives where they are operating at peak performance. They have become a productive, fine-tuned money-making machine that works on autopilot. They are no longer concerned with their status in life, as they know where they stand. They have already overcome their destructive negative ego and are more focused on a constructive ego. They have no desire to look down on anyone. Instead, they are focused on helping people who help themselves. If you want to become financially successful like them, you will need to earn their trust and worthiness of their time and mentorship. The majority of mentors have a power of discernment: they know who is genuine and who is not, and if by chance they were wrong, they will be quick to end the relationship.
If you ask a true mentor, “What is the first step in learning, in finding the fastest, most productive way of doing something and the truth of how things work?” he or she will usually answer, “The first step is to talk less, listen more, and stay humble.” If you ask, “What is the second step?” the mentor would say, “Talk less, listen more, and stay humble.” If you ask, “What is the third step?” he or she would say, “Talk less, listen more, and stay humble.”
Mentors have learned how to think accurately from their past experiences of trial and error. They are clear on how to separate facts from mere information. They have learned which facts are important and which are unimportant for continued success. They are a brain to pick, an ear to bend, and people who can push you in the right direction. A mentor’s hindsight can work greatly to your advantage and become your foresight.
A Mentor Will Take You Where You Need to Go – FINDING A MENTOR IN TRADING AND IN LIFE
Until a person figures out his definite purpose and begins to focus on whatever formula is necessary for success with his dream, he scatters his energy and thoughts in all different directions. That indecisiveness leads to weakness and lack of personal power to take action in any direction. A scattered brain creates a scattered life. A mentor helps you stay laser-light focused in the direction you need to be going.
One reason many of us never achieve what we truly want is that we never are clear about where we are going, and we don’t know how to direct our focus. We don’t know how to concentrate on the focus that gives us the power to achieve our dream. Most people just saunter their way through life never deciding to become great, or even good, at anything, let alone having the courage to master something.
Mentors have a keen understanding of life. The majority of them look at themselves as just ordinary people who stuck to it longer than the other guy. They know that most people have no idea of the incredible capacity inside them to focus and immediately command success by using all their internal resources so they can master something in their lives.
Focusing on a goal and chasing it is like finding a distant star that many times you feel can’t be reached. However, the moment you create a plan and commit yourself, believing in your goal with passion, you must focus on arriving at that distant star with conviction. As you travel closer and closer to that distant star that you never thought possible to reach, the gravity of the star eventually takes over and pulls you in, forcing you to arrive. Mentors have already experienced that forced arrival and are now focused on helping others.
Mentors Know How to Turn Others into Potential Future Mentors – FINDING A MENTOR IN TRADING AND IN LIFE
Mentors have been there and done that. They know what works and what doesn’t. They understand that the human person can only do what it knows to do, though it very seldom does what it does not know what to do. They know that small adjustments or decisions can net big results. True mentors will not allow you to dig holes with a shovel; rather they will introduce you to a backhoe. They have already done their research and are living successfully with the results.
Good mentors don’t claim to know everything; they instead constantly humble themselves to learn more from others and are therefore pro-education and fanatical about continued education. They understand how important continued education is and that we can all learn something from each other. Otherwise, if you always do what you have always done, you will always be where you have always been, and you will always have what you have always had! Consider this: if you are responsible for earning the income for your family and responsible for your family’s quality way of life, don’t you think you should be investing more in your education and your self-improvement? Learning from a mentor helps you reach this goal. And in return, great mentors create other great mentors. Through a mentor’s guidance, you will learn not only whatever skill or trade he or she is teaching you, but you will also learn how to mentor and teach.
As you continually learn how to become better and better at your dream profession, take the time to identify all the people, groups, suppliers, or organizations that you will need cooperation or assistance from to achieve your goals. For example, after years of training people with so many different personalities, Market Traders Institute (MTI) has put together the Ultimate Traders Package, containing important information about becoming a Forex trader, accompanied by all the suppliers and organizations needed to achieve your goals.
A Mentor’s Spirit to Serve – FINDING A MENTOR IN TRADING AND LIFE
Think of the most successful people you know. What makes them different than you? Do they have two arms and two legs? Do they have two eyes and a mouth? Do they need to eat when they get hungry and sleep when they get tired, just like you do? Of course, they do. What then is the difference between you and them? After all, successful people are human beings with human emotions and human problems. Many things can make a person successful; however, I have found that their knowledge, their skills, and their disciplines set them apart from everyone else. It is their talent for repetitive patterns of thought, feeling, and actions. Successful people have repetitive patterns of positive thought, followed by positive feelings, followed by positive constructive actions. They have paid the price, they know how hard it is to find success, and they know it takes 10 times the amount of work to continue to stay successful after they found success. They know success is not a destination. It is a continuous journey, and the target is always moving.
Most mentors have a compassionate heart and a spirit to serve, and they understand how hard life’s battles can be. Just about every successful person who is willing to become someone’s mentor knows the price that needs to be paid for their success. Mentors know that what they have done for themselves will die with them, but what they have done, and will do, for others in this world will become immortal. Their help and guidance provide others a way to face their struggles.
Most people experience immortality through their children. However, a mentor experiences his immortality by helping others, teaching them a new skill, or providing them with guidance. People forget what you have said and may even forget what you did for them, but they never forget how it feels to be taught a new skill that they will be able to use the rest of their lives.
In my book, The 10 Essentials of Forex Trading, I teach the technical skills of how to trade in the Forex market. The skills I teach in that book are natural skills and methodologies that have to do with Mother Nature. They will outlive me and my posterity. With our trading courses being approved by the major universities of the world, I have learned that I can attain immortality through my courses and writings that will continue to teach others long after I have physically stopped moving. Mentors know their immortality lies not in the things they leave behind, but in the people whose lives they have touched. The skills they have taught that can change or enhance one’s life forever. Perhaps even their children’s lives. You can never help too much!
We all make a living by what we get, but we all make a life by what we give. No one knows this better than a mentor. There is a miracle in giving and receiving, and it is a quite simple age-old adage: the more we give, the more we get. One thing I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people. Mentors are clear that perhaps they started focused on themselves and perhaps on their needs or the needs of the family. However, they are now past that. They have entered the realm of giving back and of showing the world their gratitude for all their opportunities and everything that has been given to them.
Learn from Your Mentor’s Mistakes – FINDING A MENTOR IN TRADING AND LIFE
Mentors have already overcome the problems that you’ll encounter. They have already made the mistakes you are about to make, and they are skilled in not repeating them. In the field of trading, I have made just about every mistake possible. I have already gone through the school of hard knocks, and I have found the habits and disciplines necessary to become successful in my Forex trading endeavors. There is no need for you to bang your head against the wall for years through trial and error trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t if you instead can tap into your mentor’s experience and knowledge. The mentor-mentee relationship is meant to teach you how to not waste your time and not make errors that produce no income (or a serious loss of income).
A mentor knows that when we make a mistake, we learn a tremendous amount of great, life-altering information that can put our lives back on track. Wisdom is acquired when a mistake is made. A mentor will tell you that when you make a mistake, don’t look back negatively—look back positively. Don’t dwell on your spilled milk. No one benefits from spilled milk, except the cat. The past cannot be changed. The here and now along with the future are what we have to deal with.
Mentors are those strong people who have the tenacity and courage to never give up when they make a mistake. They know that strong people make as many mistakes as weak people. The difference is that strong people admit their mistakes, laugh at them, learn from them, create ways to prevent them from happening again, and move on. That is how they become strong. Mentors who have been successful for a certain period in any field already have proven they cannot be intimidated by challenges, mistakes, dead ends, or brick walls. They already know that every great achievement comes with setbacks, and they have worked through those setbacks. They already know how to admit to and laugh at their own mistakes. They know that when you choose a behavior, you choose a consequence. After all, we are all nothing more than the choices we make. They are what they are today because of the decisions and mistakes they made yesterday, and that is what keeps them humble.
Any mentor will tell you that making mistakes is part of being human. They would ask how without making a mistake would you know what needs to be worked on or improved in your life? Mentors know great new disciplines are born from mistakes and that just about all of life’s important lessons can only be gained from making a mistake. The only real mistake in life is the one from which we learn nothing.
Building Experience Through Our Own Mistakes – FINDING A MENTOR IN TRADING AND LIFE
Inevitably, although you will learn a great deal through your mentor’s mistakes, you too are bound to make some. Do not fear: if you pay attention to while making a mistake, you will acquire experience, and experience is the name we give to our mistakes. Experience is that incredible thing inside us that allows us to recognize when another mistake is about to happen, and it helps us avoid future mistakes. Mentors realize mistakes are mere steps up the ladder of success. Every mistake that they made and took the time to learn from got them that much is closer to their goal. So don’t be surprised when your mentor thinks it is OK for you to mess up—your mentor may even encourage it, as long as you learn from your errors. Also, if you think you will be able to trade in the Forex without making a mistake, then you will be greatly disappointed.
I have learned that most people beat themselves up emotionally when they make a mistake, but all traders make big mistakes. For example, I remember a point in time in 1998 (which I discuss fully in Chapter 15). I had for years been trading and working diligently daily being disciplined in my trading strategies and habits. I was fully confident in my trading abilities—so confident that I repeated a mistake from my past and entered into a false sense of security, thinking I was above the laws of trading. I thought I could control the market, rather than the market controlling me.
Now there I was, the great and masterful FXCHIEF at his best. However, within five hours after I entered my trade, I entered that awful zone where my arrogance took hold and I found myself in the dark dungeon named “False Sense of Security.” Then . . . BOOM! The anatomic bomb hit my trading career. Within five hours my trading account was liquidated: $400,000—gone forever.
Learn from all your mistakes, but find a mentor, pay attention to his life lessons and try to avoid major ones yourself. Some mistakes can be serious or life-altering, have a profound impact on our lives and change the course of our destiny. If sorrow is involved, sorrow will become your teacher. But mentors know that unless the mistake is fatal, something can always be learned to our benefit.
The true art of living is learning how to put our mistakes into perspective. One of my challenges was to pay attention to that life-altering mistake and earn all the money back more intelligently. Mentors know that making mistakes is simply the opportunity to begin the process again more intelligently. It is imperative to learn from our mistakes. If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is a second chance. Thank goodness that this life is full of second chances.
The greatest belief we must have is that our mistakes are part of being human and that we can overcome them. Otherwise, we would give up at trying to become successful at whatever it is we are trying to accomplish. You must realize that a mistake gives you a second chance to do it differently or to perfect it. When you make a mistake, you have to step back, understand what happened, and then put into place a new discipline enabling you to avoid making that mistake again. The problem will arise when you become tempted to make that same mistake again; you do not want to become a habitual offender. Mentors are not habitual offenders; they know what works and what doesn’t.
Mentors know that everyone makes mistakes. However, as you work through your mistakes, mentors act as coaches, encouraging you to say, “I can get over this and move on. I can do this!” Mentors help you realize you are not alone at making mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. What you can’t do is be afraid of making a mistake when you are learning something new. Some people are so embarrassed about their mistakes they go and hide, thinking the world saw what they did. I was playing a game with my four nieces. I started to notice that my one niece would never attempt to answer a question she did not know. When I asked her why she was doing that, she said, “I hate making mistakes and being wrong. So I would rather not say or do anything unless I know I am going to be right.”
Most people think making a mistake is doing something that did not work or does not work. That is not necessarily true. What is true is that there is a big difference between making a mistake and deliberately making a conscious effort to do something wrong. When we deliberately and consciously do something wrong, that is not a mistake! When traders learn a hard-and-fast rule at trading and then deliberately disobey the rule or deliberately break that rule, that is not a mistake. That is an act of doing something they want to do.
Conclusion – FINDING A MENTOR IN TRADING AND LIFE
If you are serious about your success, find other successful people who have already made the mistakes and learn from them to help you avoid making the same ones. Let them teach you. They already know that falling is not the mistake, but staying down is. If you have tried to become successful at anything and were met with setbacks and defeat, you are not alone. Every great achievement is filled with setbacks and defeats. Your defeats are nothing more than installments into the other bank account named Victory. Don’t fear those defeats or failures; embrace them. If you have created hopes, dreams, and plans and watched them all crumble before your eyes, just remember that the greatest people in all of history went through the same thing. They are all ultimately products of courage and tenacity, and they understand that greatness is found in never giving up, even after making potentially life-altering mistakes. Incredible adversity along with mistakes gives birth to opportunity and patiently lies in the cradle of success. What one calls a dead-end from a mistake is what another calls the birth of an opportunity. (FINDING A MENTOR IN TRADING AND LIFE)
By: Jared F. Martinez
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